I always thought that I was a thankful person but going through this process of self-discovery made me realize that, although I said thank you all the time, I was not truly thankful for what I had in my life. I contributed to the society of more, more, more. The latest, the greatest, the upgraded. My blind and misguided behavior was shopping for clothes, shoes, handbags and accessories. As an Image Consultant I shopped for a living so it was the perfect job for me. What I didn’t see was that I was filling my closets with expensive things that I didn’t need. Things that didn’t bring me joy. I was filling my closet instead of filling my heart and I was never satisfied because it wasn’t what I needed.
Now I see with different eyes. I don’t want for excesses anymore because I see what I have in my life: my children, my family, my friends, my home and my life. I am happy and so very thankful for all that I have.
During my divorce, I felt devastated. I was angry, mean and sometimes rude, but the bottom line was that I couldn’t cut my ex out of my life because we have children together. I began to see that the only person I was hurting with all of this anger was me. When I stepped back and put myself in his shoes I realized that he did the best he could do; not what I thought was the best, but his best. This was a monumental learning moment for me. Accepting this changed me deeply. It freed me. We’ve all heard it a million times, but until you experience the freedom of forgiveness, you will forever stay stuck.
Once I began to forgive I became grateful. Grateful for how the marriage ended, how quickly it ended, and for all the players who were essential to our story. Divorce gave me the best gift – the freedom to be me. My best me. My perfect me!