This is the exact moment when my perfect little life wasn’t so pretty anymore. I went from together to broken in that split second.
As the months passed the unraveling of information was paralyzing. My whole existence was slipping through my fingers. The life I knew was gone. I was devastated.
I was living in a swirling tornado of dark emotions. And there was no light to be found. I was desperate to make sense of any of it. I needed to get out what was bubbling inside of me. I needed to give my thoughts a voice. This is when I began journaling. I journaled everywhere on everything. In journals, on sticky notes, scrap pieces of paper, napkins and even via voice recordings on my phone.
One day I began transcribing these disparate entries onto my Mac. Typing them one by one into one large document. As they were not dated or in any type of order, I then began organizing them into sections. Then the sections became chapters.
“OMG, I’m writing a book!”
That horrified me.
“I can’t do that!”
“Why would I do that?”
The thought of sharing my darkest, most private thoughts during the most difficult time in my life, didn’t sound very good to me. But I knew it was what I was supposed to do. It was as if I didn’t have a choice.
I now know the path I was on while I was married was not my intended path. I was headed the wrong way and in order for me to fulfill my purpose and live my truth my direction needed to change. That is why my marriage ended as abruptly and hurtfully as it did. It needed to end that way because that was the only way it would end. I was oblivious to how far off my path I was and how far I had strayed from me… and that was no longer acceptable to the universe. My divorce and the derailment of my life was necessary.
It was time for me and my life to move forward. This was when phase I of my career overhaul began. And when my small image consulting business was expanded into and an image consulting company, private label women clothing line and inspirational jewelry line. I was on fire — both good and bad. I developed the lines so fast. I didn’t have time to really think about what I was taking on, because if I had… I wouldn’t have done any of it… and I know… I was supposed to. The universe crafted it that way because thinking was not part of this phase of the plan.
The story continues and this is when the apparel line (luckily) failed. I know that sounds crazy that I included the word luckily but the honest truth is if it had succeeded, I would still be doing it. And I am not meant to be a clothing designer. The development of the apparel line was a critical piece to my transformation. It showed me how bold and unafraid I am.
Strong. Creative. Empowered.
Often times (actually most of the time) our failures are just another opportunity for success in another direction. Which brings us to where we are today. It has been more than 6 years since I began those first journal entries and I have finally finished the memoir and am now pitching it to agents for representation. Over the years there have been many, many times that I thought the book was finished until more time passed and another section of chapters revealed themselves. I’ve know for a very long time that I had to write this book. Writing was part of my process of healing. But more importantly documenting my darkness has allowed me to see how dark I was, understand how far off center I was and now see how I have empowered me to head true north with “Love, Strength, Courage, Gratitude, Forgiveness, Trust and Truth.”
It is time for Trust the Path to start its journey into the world. It is now its time to be revealed to the world and do what it is intended… which is to help millions and millions and millions of women (men) and children all over the world heal, build and move forward.
It is time for me to shine and for me to show others how to shine too.
Tricia Doyle Mahoney
Truster of the Path