As the years passed I thought I was living the life of my dreams: raising my beautiful children, running my business, living my life.
But reflection is amazing, isn’t it?
With years behind me and wisdom gained I now look back over the span of these years and realize that little by little, year by year, I slipped away from me.
Who I was.
What I wanted.
What I needed.
My dreams.
My goals.
My aspirations.
I got lost.
I was gone.
And I was oblivious… to the abandonment of my self.
The day my husband said “I’m not happy.” was like a sledgehammer shattering my perfect life. At that moment the life I knew was over. On that day a part of me died, along with my marriage.
The many months, and sadly years, that followed were of complete wreckage. The unraveling of information was devastating. I was wounded and raw, trying to lick the wounds of my divorce road rash.
I was stripped of my life, my dignity and my happily ever after.
But for me this was NECESSARY.
With the passage of time and the gift of retrospection I realized that the hardest part wasn’t the divorce…
The hardest part was ME!
Healing me.
The chilling revelation that I had willingly abandoned my dreams and myself (what I thought was) for the good of my family was sobering.
I was wrong.
I was selfless, to the point of destruction.
The free fall of my existence began.
I was lost.
Searching for who I was.
What I wanted.
How I would rebuild.
This is when the real work began and I discovered the critical need for inner health:
Love, Strength, Courage, Gratitude, Forgiveness, Trust & Truth.
I was determined to find my way, my path. ME.
The process has been all-encompassing and often paralyzing but what I know now is that there is much more to life and much more to me.
Months and months have passed and I am now years beyond my old life and the old me.
These have been hardest years of my life but devastation has given me, ME.
Leave a Reply