(Self) Image is Everything

Is he… different than I expect? different from what I imagine? I know… It needs to be about how I feel. How I’m treated. Looked at. Spoken to. Cared for. Loved. That it… Must be differerent. Than all others. Not arrogant. Not for show. Simple. In the best way. Easy. As it should be. Paced….

I love you. But I am not in love with you. I deserve the first impression you, not the real you that seeped through. The persona you wooed me with in the midst of the grander of it all. You swept in. And knocked the everything out of me. You drew me in with all…

Why isn’t he here? “You’re just mastering the finishg touches,” she says. I don’t know what that means. Aren’t I good enough as I am. Why is there more to be done? Haven’t I done the work? ALL THE WORK! Wait. Are those finshing touches for me? Or him? I didn’t ask. It’s been years….

It has been some time. We are together, but still figuring out. I lay intertwined in your arms, in my bed. Our bodies so comfortably separate, yet together. The tears well up in my eyes and my heart aches. The words are urning to be expressed, but my throat won’t let them be heard. It…

I think of you every day. Wishing you were here. Wanting you by my side. Wondering.. Who you are? Where you are? Why you’re not here? What will you look like? Smell like? Taste like? Sound like? Feel like? Dreaming of what I think might be you. And being disappointed date after date when it’s…

One swipe. Right. An uncanny familirariy. Same words. Language. So open. Free. For me. No rules. I am following the rules she told me to: “Don’t think. Feel.” “You are the only one that makes your rules.” “Don’t let other’s rules, rule you.” These are guides that I am living by. I knew you would…