“Can I sleep with you?”
She says.
“Of course you can.”
I reply.
She hasn’t done that is long time.
I thought she was good?
She’s been better.
Happier.
More upbeat.
Bouncy.
Sleep with me?
Are we back there again?
How man steps have we gone back?
I wasn’t ready.
I thought we were good.
Better.
“Talk to me.”
I say.
Pause.
Long pause.
I wait.
“I’ll tell you later.”
She repsonds.
“Do we need to go to the hospital?”
I ask.
Unsure of what to do.
Fearful of her answer.
Fearful that we need to go.
Fearful if we don’t.
“No.”
She replys.
It’s quiet.
Is she sleeping?
Should I sleep?
What if I sleep and she isn’t here when I wake up?
“I think I’m going to go back up to my room.”
She says.
“Baby, are you ok?”
“You can stay here with me.”
She relpys:
“Yes”
“Please tell me what you need.”
“You kow you can tell me anything, right?
“Tell me how to help.”
Her response is calm and confident.
As if she switched from one place to another.
.
I felt relief.
Back in the safe zone.
I know it’s ok.
I can sleep.
Rest.
Breathe.
She will be here when I wake up.
